Praises verse Encouragement
Early Childhood Educator and Parents
The use of praises has always been a common practice to encourage children by early childhood educators. Parents and teachers have often used praise to make kids do positive work such as cleaning the room and picking up toys. Sometimes praises are used to achieve desired results. There is nothing wrong with praise if it is genuine and practiced in moderation, however, that is not always possible.
Praises do have short-term benefits and it does motivate children to accomplish their job but praises can have positive and negative impact on child’s behavior and self-esteem. Praises are often used by adults and caretakers to control a child’s behavior. Sometimes praises are used for evaluating the behavior or performance of a child. Therefore praises are judgmental in nature. Question is what kind of impact do praises leave on child's self-esteem and what are the long lasting results of praises? Impact of praises my not always be positive because praises make child dependent on adult approval and evaluation.
After reading an article “Hooked on Praises” published in Parent Magazine, 2000. My focus shifted from praises to encouragement and after long reflection, I realized that there is a correlation between empty praises and child self-esteem. Praise can dampen a child’s creativity and healthy self-image. Therefore for educators and teachers, it is necessary to learn replacement skills that encourage positive strategies in building healthy self-esteem. Teaching a child to evaluate his own work will help him in developing a positive self-image.
Bringing this shift in behavior management strategy might not be an easy task for childcare providers because praises have always been used as a motivating tool. The Idea of praises might be so engrained and deeply rooted in the educator’s philosophy of teaching, vocabulary, and teacher-child interaction that it becomes second nature. For many educators, it is part of their own upbringing.
Initially, it may require the practice of active listening but in the long run, this practice will help a child evaluate his or her own work rather than depending on an adult’s approval or evaluation. Comments such as Good work, you look pretty, I like your new dress, great work are judgmental, superficial, and extrinsic in nature which motivates a child to gain praise because they are pleasing adults but in reality, it does not have any positive impact on child’s self-esteem. In an article, it is mentioned that stating “Good job!” doesn’t reassure children; ultimately, it makes them feel less secure. It may even create a vicious circle such that the more we slather on the praise, the more kids seem to need it, so we praise them some more. Sadly, some of these kids will grow into adults who continue to need someone else to pat them on the head and tell them whether what they did was OK”. Praise makes children dependent on the approval and judgment of adults.
The purpose of such praise does not produce long-term beneficial results on a child’s behavior. It might even lower a child’s self-esteem if he is not able to please an adult or get an adult's approval. This kind of disapproval might lead to negative feelings such as discouragement and disappointment. A child might feel anger and develop low self-esteem. A child might view himself/herself in a negative light such as, “ I am not good enough, I should have done a better job, I am never going to be good at this”. Rather than using praise for evaluation, encouraging a child by focusing on his task and accomplishment produces positive results and internally motivates a child.
Educators must train themselves to shift their focus from the child to his work and effort. Educators must encourage a child to reflect on his own tasks and accomplishments. This kind of reflection gives the child a sense of accomplishment because he is not judged or evaluated by others. This practice of encouragement by early childhood educators will give him a positive view of himself and make him self-reliant rather than being dependent on an adult’s approval. This exercise not only encourages self-reflection, self-evaluation, and building positive self-esteem but most importantly encourages a child to think for him or herself.
Praise serves a purpose at the initial stages of a child's life but it should not be used as a constant practice. A balance between praise and encouragement is necessary. Parents and educators who focus on praise fail to recognize that they are using this practice to manipulate a child’s behavior. Some of the negative impacts of praises should be analyzed in order to evaluate why praises are not beneficial for children in the long run.
The negative impacts of praises are as follows: Praises make children dependent on an adult’s evaluation and approval. It takes away a child’s ability to think for himself. If praises become a lifelong practice for parents and educators it adds psychological pressure on children to please others and comply with their wishes and command. Praise reduces achievement because the child thinks that his goal is the adult’s approval and pleasure. He does not wish to strive more or set higher goals for himself or herself. He fails to develop the intrinsic values for his work and loses inner motivation. As a result, the child is not able to take pleasure in his own achievement because he is too focused on pleasing others. In addition, praises have judgmental qualities and they are often used as verbal rewards. Children need true encouragement to accomplish tasks rather than empty praises that are short-lived and add no value to their self-esteem. They need to evaluate their own work and achievements so they can feel proud of their efforts and take pride in their accomplishments.
According to research conducted by Joan Grusec at the University of Toronto, “Young children who were frequently praised for displays of generosity tended to be slightly less generous on an everyday basis than other children were. Every time they heard “Good sharing!” or “I’m so proud of you for helping,” they became a little less interested in sharing or helping. Those actions came to be seen not as something valuable in their own right but as something they had to do to get that reaction again from an adult. Generosity became a means to an end”.
Every child needs encouragement. Using a positive reinforcement strategy in the classroom not only motivates a child intrinsically but encourages a healthy self-image. I found this information very practical and useful. Analyzing the advantages and disadvantages of praise will force teachers and other childcare providers to practice active listening. This strategy will encourage teachers to shift their focus to child effort and work rather than focusing on praise. Teachers can learn new replacement skills for positive reinforcement as well.
